Christmas Party Season always seems to bring out the worst in Cheating Partners
One current statistic suggests that 1 out of 3 people cheat on their partner at the office Christmas party. That’s a shockingly high statistic.
Christmas parties are a busy time for Private Investigators in general. Various instructions are received at this time of year from clients who suspect their partners of “playing away” with the boss or co-worker. It may be as simple as a person’s name mentioned more often during conversation, or it may be that they have booked a hotel room, and it’s within commuting distance.
What are the signs of an affair?
1. Sudden Changes in Appearance
If your partner starts transforming into a different person, it may be more than a mid-life crisis. A partner who drastically alters their clothing style, appearance or body shape for no apparent reason may be having an affair. Perhaps the lover has suggested a different hairstyle, new aftershave or perfume or even a different dress style. If your partner is dressing differently for work, there may be a co-worker they are trying to impress. Likewise, if your lifelong couch-potato spouse suddenly becomes a gym rat, it may not be you that they’re trying to impress. Your partner may be trying to look good for a new love interest or keep up physically with a younger lover. Or perhaps the other lover works or works out at the gym they’re showing a sudden interest in going to.
2. Attitude Towards You Dramatically Changes
Changes in mood can point to more than just stressful times at work. They may get fidgety or irritable when they’re supposed to be in two places at once. If the other lover demands more of their time, they may start arguments with you so they can storm out and rendezvous with them. If your partner is not only picking fights, but also criticizing you for things that hadn’t bothered them before, like your appearance, eating habits or intelligence, it’s probably not about the way you chew your food or the 5 pounds you’ve gained, but really about another lover. Cheating creates a lot of internal turmoil and tension, which gets played out between the two of you. Plus, in order to cheat on someone, you have to be focused on what you don’t like about your partner. By making that loud and clear, they feel more justified in cheating and less guilty.
3. Becomes Distant
Emotional distance is the number-one giveaway of infidelity, because it’s hard to be emotionally invested in two people at once and to be emotionally intimate with someone while you betray their trust. Most people simply can’t handle the guilt of cheating, so they create space. Plus, distance creates a shield, protecting them from detection—if they don’t say much, they’re less likely to say something incriminating! If your spouse avoids being alone with you and your conversations become purely superficial, they could be pushing you away because they’re growing closer to someone else. Likewise, if they hold back the warm and fuzzies (i.e. they stop saying ‘I love you,’ no longer holds your hand in public or barely hugs you any more), they could be cutting off their feelings of affection for you, so they can focus on their new partner without feeling as guilty.
4. Guilty Behaviour
Guilt-ridden behaviour is a dead giveaway that your partner is hiding something. They may shower you with affection and attention (giving you gifts for no reason, complimenting you frequently or helping around the house more), but diamonds and doing the dishes aren’t necessarily the signs of an uncharacteristically sweet husband or wife—they could indicate a guilty one. “When a partner feels guilty, they may become unusually affectionate or attentive as a way to mask they’re affair or relieve some of his guilt. On the other hand, some partners may avoid you when they have something to hide, no longer making eye contact or attempts to communicate. It’s likely that they won’t hold your gaze and engage fully with you, because they’re hiding a secret and they’re afraid you’ll see through them if you really look at them.
5. Secretive, Unusual or Unexplained Behaviour
- It’s not just guilty behaviour that should make you worry. Anything that can be characterized as secretive, unusual or unexplained—or any behaviour that has suddenly and inexplicably changed—could signify that they’re hiding something. If your partner becomes elusive about their whereabouts, something’s probably going on.
- Other indicators that something’s amiss?
- The computer screen changes when you walk into the room.
- Hushed telephone conversations or calls taken outside.
- Strange body language when in the company of a new co-worker.
- Reluctance to take you places with them and their friends.
- General unexplained behaviour that feels suspicious, are all clues that your partner is straying.
6. You Never See Them Any More
If your partner’s suddenly never around, they may really be busy at work, or they may be busy with someone else. While they’re likely to have a wide range of plausible excuses for their new absentee status (working a lot of overtime, travelling for business, training for a 10K), they could just be an attempt to cover up the fact that their extracurricular activities involve another lover. Your partner could be spending time away from home with their lover. Although the other lover usually accepts whatever fragment of time they can get at first, they typically begin to demand more and more of it. Conversely, your partner may just not want to come home because they feel guilty.
7. Frequently Unavailable or Unreachable
Are you suddenly finding it hard to get in touch with your spouse or partner? Is their mobile phone turned off during times you can normally reach them, or do they claim not to have had a phone signal for hours at a time? Or maybe they say they are in business meetings all night or a work conference all weekend, so don’t call them, they’ll call you? If your partner’s frequently unavailable, it may be because they’re with someone else. This is how they can spend time with the other lover without having to rush home. It’s their way of making sure they don’t have to worry about looking over their shoulder constantly and answering to you.
8. Your Gut Tells You Something Is Going On
If you think your partner’s acting strangely, hiding something or seeing someone else, don’t ignore your instincts. Intuition is the best thing we go by in our business. You know all of your partner’s aches and pains, when they’re mad, happy or lonely, and when they’re there in body but not in mind. You know when something is not right. In fact, it’s your instincts that will usually help you recognize the signs of an affair. There are almost always clues, because it’s a complicated thing—mentally, physically and emotionally—so it requires a lot of adjustments to pull off. These adjustments will appear as something different about your partner, and they may be subtle. That’s why it’s best to trust your instinct that something’s off.
9. Sex is different
Both more and less interest in sex can signal infidelity. If your partner’s suddenly rebuffing your advances when they have never turned you down before, they could be satisfying they’re sexual needs elsewhere. While many couples experience changes in their sexual activity over time, if your spouse is never interested in having sex any more, you should consider the possibility that they’re having an affair. Their lover may be giving them something sexually that they aren’t getting at home, or because it’s secret and new, it’s more exciting, so they put all their energy into sex with them. Meanwhile, a sudden increase in sexual appetite could also be the result of infidelity. “Engaging in sex with a new partner can rev up testosterone, increasing they’re overall drive. A third party may also be responsible for a sudden interest in experimenting sexually.
10. A New Lover Enters the Picture
If your partner repeatedly talks about another person you’ve never met, there’s a good chance they might be the new lover, especially if, when you question your partner about them, they say, “They’re just a friend,” but their enthusiasm is just a bit too much to believe. While you may assume your partner wouldn’t be insensitive enough to actually bring up their lover with you, experts say many do. Sometimes cheaters take the strategy of being half truthful, because in some ways it’s less of a heavy burden if half of the cat is out of the bag. Plus, they may be thinking about this new person so much that they can’t help talking about them.
11. Overly Defensive
“Why are you asking all these questions?” “Why do you care where I was?” “I was watching the game at Mark’s, I was on a girlie night. “If you don’t believe me, call them!” If these defences sound familiar, your partner could be up to no good. When a partner becomes overly defensive in response to questions about their whereabouts or behaviour, it’s a huge sign that something is not right, because otherwise, they’d laugh it off. Meanwhile, if out of nowhere your partner accuses you of cheating, it may be because they’ve been unfaithful. Once a partner sees how easy it is for them to become involved in an outside relationship, they begin to view you under the same moral microscope. Accusing you of infidelity is a way to deflect their own guilt and poor behaviour.
If your partner has recently started to display any of these common indicators of infidelity, then call Titan Private Investigation for a free private consultation. We will work in conjunction with you to design a bespoke investigation plan to suit your needs and to get the answers/evidence you require.
Worried About Your Partner Cheating? Who do I contact?
We offer our cheating partner service national and can be contacted or visited at the locations below:
London Cheating Partners – Call the Titan Investigations London Office 020 39046622
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Leicester Cheating Partners – Call the Titan Investigations Leicester Office 0116 2436520
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Sheffield Cheating Partners – Call the Titan Investigations Sheffield Office 0114 3499400
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